


Hope I Never Lose You, Hope It Never Ends

by soul_writerr



Series: Lover [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Insecurity, Inspired by Music, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-25 00:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_writerr/pseuds/soul_writerr
Summary: Rafael let go of his doubts and insecurities for the moment. It was hard fearing he’d lose Sonny when he had the real thing right there, under his palms, around him, hugging him so tight it was like Sonny himself was afraid of letting go.





	Hope I Never Lose You, Hope It Never Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Taylor Swift's new album came out today and the first song that really got me was Cornelia Street, so I got in my feelings and wrote this! 
> 
> Go stream Lover! Enjoy!

Rafael wasn’t the type to get easily scared. In his profession, there was no time, no space for fear. There was worry, apprehension, anxiety, but actual fear that shook him to the bone? It was very, very rare. 

In fact, Rafael could count in one hand the number of times he felt scared during his time as an ADA. 

Once there was a shooting during a trial. The shooter hadn’t been there for him, but the sound of gunshots echoed in his mind for months after it happened. The judge had been hit, and Rafael had run to her on instinct, pressing on her bullet wound until the paramedics came. 

When he got home that night, he scrubbed his hands until they turned red for a different reason. 

Then, there were also the death threats.

It was nothing new to him, the hung-ups and weird text messages. He often got his fair share of “hate-mail”, too. But when a man came straight to him, got up in his face in broad daylight, he was shaken. 

He played it off, kept his hard-face in place, rolled his eyes at the mention of a security detail. 

But his safety was put in the hands of a blue-eyed, dimpled smile Detective that went by the name Sonny. Days and nights always around each other, Rafael’s reluctance softened into mild intrigue, that then turned into a simmering fascination. In six months, he was completely infatuated.

The day Sonny kissed him, under the dim lights of his office at the latest hours, everything changed. He had touched Rafael’s face softly afterwards, a look so pure in his eyes, Rafael felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. 

And now Rafael was really, really scared.

Because that had been almost a year ago, and he just couldn’t see himself not having Sonny anymore. 

A couple people new about them -- Amanda and Olivia -- and Sonny had taken upon himself to call Rafael his boyfriend with a smitten smile on his face. It made Rafael proud the same amount it made him terrified.

If Rafael was ever deprived of that smile, if he ever lost Sonny, if what they had ever ended, he’d have to skip town. He’d never be able to walk down One Hogan Place again, or go into the 16th precinct. 

New York was tainted with his love for Sonny. It was like every little corner told their story, at every turn he took, something screamed Sonny’s name at him. 

He saw the café they’d meet on Sundays, he saw the pastry shop that made Sonny’s favorite cake, he saw the little corner where Sonny pushed him into one Friday night and kissed the living days out of him, the two of them with drunken smiles on their faces and a fresh, new kind of feeling in their hearts.

It had seemed too good to be true, then, and Rafael allowed himself to stay a little skeptical for a while. But Sonny kept coming back, kept his gentle touches, kept his heart on his sleeve, showed his hands, no playing games, just his honest, endearing self that slowly broke down every single one of Rafael’s walls.

Now, with his defenses gone and his heart out, open, and vulnerable, losing Sonny would be the kind of heartbreak that Rafael would never be able to recover from.

Yet, that night, just as Rafael opened the door to his apartment, he heard it. All the sounds that came with Sonny. The speakers blasting a song about Cornelia Street, Sonny’s voice trying to match the high vocals and failing, the sizzling of something on the stove, the banging of pots and cutlery and cabinets. 

Rafael smiled as he felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders and his heart expanded to take over his whole body. 

Sonny spotted him a second later, a skillet in one hand and a spoon in the other. He beamed at the sight of Rafael, putting said utensils on the counter so he could freely walk towards him and pull him into his arms. 

“Welcome home,” Sonny said casually, then leaned in to kiss him, both their smiles making it sweeter. 

Rafael let go of his doubts and insecurities for the moment, and promptly melted into him. It was hard fearing he’d lose Sonny when he had the real thing right there, under his palms, around him, hugging him so tight it was like Sonny himself was afraid of letting go. 

He hoped neither ever lost that fear.

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really love this song because Taylor talks about being scared of losing her boyfriend and I'm just thinking that if you ever lose that fear completely, if you're not scared by the thought of that person leaving, where does that leave you?
> 
> Anyway, as I said, I'm in my feelings LKASLAKSLAKLAKAS If you know me, there'll probably be more fics inspired by this album, so let me know what you think of this one!
> 
> Leave kudos and comments and maybe I'll work on the three other fics I've abandoned! <3 <3


End file.
